• David Grammig

Network With Impact 4/7: How To Be LIKED And Why It Matters

Updated: Jun 10, 2020

The value you will get from Networking with people you don’t know is higher than the value of networking with people you’ve known for years. Simply because the latest group are in the same situation as you are. To find new opportunities, go and connect with a new crowd.

In the 3 previous Newsletters, we covered the Preparation phase of Networking with Impact that requires 6 steps:

· Having the right mindset.

· Looking to connect with weak ties.

· How to select the right events?

· Prepare to answer: “How can I help you?”

· Set smart goals for each event you attend.

· Get your social pitch ready.

Let’s move on to the second stage.

Imagine, you are at a Networking event (face to face or Digital – it applies for both). There is one thing you need to worry about: You need to be Liked!


Would you help, share information and personal contact with someone you dislike?

Let me take a wild guess: Absolutely not!

People who are well liked:

1. Laugh at themselves

2. Listen with interest (that’s a big one for Networking!)

3. Rarely complain (don’t you hate negative people complaining all the time?)

4. Inspire others

5. Teach

6. Give

For Networking with Impact, you will need to be “liked” to set the circumstances for an exchange of favors to take place.

The exchange of favor is based on the principles of Influence. Science demonstrates that being likable comes first if you need to influence or persuade before: competence, trust and experience.

Let's take for granted that you are applying the positive influence dynamic. You want to serve a grander purpose and contribute to the world well-being. That you are not plotting Machiavellian manipulation.

(Reading references: Influence & Pre-Suasion from author Robert Cialdini – How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie)

Hence, what can you do to be Liked?

1. Impression formation

You know that first impression is important. You may not know how little time you have to actually make one. Within the first seven seconds of meeting, people will have a solid impression of who you are. Some research suggests a tenth of a second is all it takes to start determining traits like likability and trustworthiness.

Watch Mark Bowden; expert on evolutionary psychology, behavioral psychology, and embodied cognition. The importance of being inauthentic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zpf8H_Dd40

That is not enough time to talk about your history, charm your new contact, or make up for any initial blunders. You don't have the luxury of banking on a second meeting to clear up any misconceptions.

So, what can you do to make a better first impression online and face to face?

2. Smiling

Is shown to be a psychological signal of altruism. When you smile at someone authentically, it makes that person trust you. You seem more approachable. Flashing a smile in those first seven seconds of meeting someone may be all it takes to forge a stronger first impression and connection.

(Refer to the Duchenne smile: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smile#Duchenne_smile)

3. Speak slowly and clearly.

It will make you seem more articulate and intelligent. It will give your listener more time to digest what you’re saying. Speaking slowly and deliberately is also a sign of confidence, which is indispensable in making a good first impression. Show you have poise and exude your executive presence! Furthermore, if you speak with an accent it will help your newly acquire audience get use to the musicality of your voice.

4. Keep a good posture.

Your shoulders back and your head held high, it makes you seem more confident and strengthen your first impression. It may also increase your own feelings of confidence, giving you more power in your interactions.

If you are connecting for the first time over Zoom /Skype/MS Team – Look at the camera…not the screen! Have proper lighting on your face, clean - uncluttered background and high-quality sound. Investing in a proper podcast microphone is not wasting money! You are showing that you care.

(See the over 57 Million views TEDx from Amy Cuddy https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_may_shape_who_you_are?language=en and/or her book: Presence)

The next Newsletter will cover how to break the ice and make safe small talk to keep creating a positive impression formation to Network with Impact.

This is the fourth article you read from me. Guess what, I would love to read from you and how you you organize your Networking activities. Drop me an email and let’s start a conversation: cecile@speak4impact.net, I would love to hear from you.

Cécile Bastien Remy is an international communication & presentation skills trainer, keynote & TEDx Speaker at www.speak4impact.net. You can contact Cécile at cecile@speak4impact.net

Link to TEDx: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRzUS_sr3aU&t=151s

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